Author Archives: Robert

So You Want To Be A Rock and Roll Star When I was six-years old I wanted to be Darren Stevens when I grew up. Not only was I attracted to the idea of being married to a smoking hot woman who could make problems disappear with a twitch of her nose, I liked theContinue reading “So You Want To Be A Rock and Roll Star”

Soft-shell crab season is here. Halleluiah, amen, and pass the Remoulade sauce! Two weeks ago the first shipment of soft-shell crabs arrived— alive and kicking— to the back door of our restaurants. Since then, we have received daily shipments and can’t buy enough to keep up with the demand. There is a simple reason forContinue reading “Soft-Shell Crab”

Bake Sales Many of our childhood school activities fall by the wayside as we grow older. Today I don’t play tetherball or box hockey. I haven’t roller skated in years. I don’t think I’ve played an all-out game of dodge ball since the Carter administration, and I haven’t played tackle football since I was inContinue reading “Bake Sales”

Viral Victuals I’ve got a virus. My particular virus is not influenza, a common cold, or a computer virus. I don’t have chickenpox, mumps, Ebola, or rabies. There are many viruses with exotic and interesting names such as: cereal yellow dwarf virus, Leaky virus, and Four Corners hantavirus. There are virus named after plants andContinue reading “Viral Victuals”

Blessed Fish and My Grandmother’s Lamb We are smack dab in the middle of the Lenten Season and Easter is only a few weeks away. This time of year always brings memories of my grandmother’s dining room. Easters used to be elaborate occasions in my family— new church clothes, hidden candy tucked away in pastel-coloredContinue reading “Blessed Fish and My Grandmother’s Lamb”

Spring Break Diary Day One: Saturday 4:30a.m.— I wake up early for a 9:30a.m. flight out of Jackson. Last night I told my wife we needed to leave the house no later than 6:30 a.m. I organize luggage, locate airline tickets, and condo confirmation numbers. The rest of my family sleeps peacefully. 6:23 a.m.— MyContinue reading “Spring Break Diary”

Pancakes and Passings I buried my grandmother today. She was the only one I had left. I was fortunate to have spent all of my childhood and a good part of my early adult years with both grandmothers, each playing a crucial role in my upbringing. My paternal grandmother passed away 17 years ago, myContinue reading “Pancakes and Passings”

Little Biscuits, Big Appetites The fondest food memories of my youth are drawn from my grandmother’s house. For 70-plus years my paternal grandmother lived in a large white house on an oak-lined, brick-paved street in my hometown of Hattiesburg, Miss. Her home had 13-foot ceilings, Oriental rugs, crystal chandeliers, European antiques, and a window-unit airContinue reading “Little Biscuits, Big Appetites”

Over the six-plus years I have written this column I have never missed a week. At 750 words each week, that’s roughly 253,500 words total, depending on how badly I am censored by my editors. Over the course of that period, I have stirred up more controversy, frustrated more editors, upset more newspaper readers, andContinue reading “Remove the Foot and Eat Some Crow”